


Monkey See, Monkey Do

by Inkribbon796



Series: Masks and Maladies [122]
Category: Markiplier TV (Web Series)
Genre: Dark is doing his best, Gen, bring your demonic children to work day, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29059074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: Dark is at near the end of his rope, three of his wards are so curious about what he does, about his shadowy day job. Where the worst monsters are normal people and the demons who feed their insatiable hunger.
Series: Masks and Maladies [122]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538131
Comments: 15
Kudos: 15





	Monkey See, Monkey Do

It began slowly, the kids were curious about what Dark and Wil did on a daily basis. Dark mostly spent his time at home doing paperwork and making various calls so he could keep his eye on them as they grew up. As they got a little bit older he could leave them at home for a little bit and periodically check on them.

Illinois was naturally curious about the outside world. His head swirling with the stories Wil had told him as he began to grow into his hat. But Arthur was a different story.

“If you run the city why are you in a suit?” Arthur asked. The young teen was all gangly legs now, much like Illinois was now. In the end Author would shoot up until he was a good several inches taller than Dark was, and he would gloat about it too.

Sometimes Dark wished they were children again so they were easier to manage. Six teenagers were a veritable hell at times, sure the kids weren’t likely to kill themselves in the woods by accident at this age but they were more than big enough to get into other kinds of trouble.

“Why wouldn’t I be in a suit?” Dark asked.

“I don’t know, shouldn’t a supervillain have like a cape and maybe a skull throne?” Arthur was leaning against Dark’s desk with his chin resting on his hands.

“My outfit is fine,” Dark rolled his eyes.

“When I’m a villain, I want a cape,” Arthur decided.

“When you’re a villain?” Dark repeated sharply. “You’re not a villain, you’re not even in the network.”

The brought Arthur’s smile crashing like a weighted lead balloon. “But I’m your Author.”

“That was to protect you when I had to take you into the warehouses,” Dark reminded. “No one uses their names. I don’t allow it.”

“You and Dad do!” Arthur shouted in anger.

“Wil uses a new one every week and only the people in this house and demons don’t have real names,” Dark dismissed.

“That’s not fair, why can’t I join?” Arthur demanded.

“Because you’re a child, and the criminal underworld would destroy you,” Dark warned.

“I’m a teenager,” Arthur gloated, as if that made a difference.

__ _ Oh, _ Dark felt a migraine encroaching on his brain. He stood up, taking advantage of the fact he was still taller than the young teen. “Right, sorry, a young overconfident, fourteen-year-old who would die the instant he saw conflict.”

“I wouldn’t die,” Arthur promised — in vain.

“You are not joining the network, I am not even entertaining this discussion,” Dark dismissed.

The young Author tried to continue arguing his point but Dark remained resolute in his decision. Arthur stormed off and broke a vase before being sent to his cool down room.

Arthur stormed into Illinois’s room, bat in hand. The young teen was sprawled on his bed, reading one of his books. His hat was right next to him.

“Don’t break my shit,” Illinois warned, looking up at him but not moving from his spot.

“AAAARRRRGGHHHH!” Arthur screamed. “Dark won’t let me join his network!”

“So? You probably were cussing him out when you asked,” Illinois turned his attention back to his book.

“No I didn’t,” Arthur groaned.

Kay poked his head in, looking in concern.

“Betcha did,” Illinois turned the page.

“Nah huh,” Arthur corrected.

“Uh huh,” Illinois turned another page.

“Fucker!” Arthur cursed.

Illinois smiled, raising an eyebrow, “See? You’re doing that thing again where you’re cursing cause you can’t win.”

“Oh cause it’s so easy for  _ you, _ he gives you anything you want,” Arthur spat.

“No I don’t,” Illinois rolled his eyes.

“Yes you fucking do,” Arthur argued. “If  _ you _ had asked, he would have said yes.”

“Why would I care?” Illinois asked.

“Because then you could go to all those places you want to,” Arthur scoffed.

Illinois looked up at him, and Kay was staring.

Quickly the three boys started talking, easily convincing Illinois, and by extension Kay that being in the network was a great idea.

Although it was a bit before Illinois got brave enough to ask Dark, using his biggest smile.

And Dark almost said yes just on reflex alone. If Illinois had asked before Dark was fully awake that day, or at night when Dark was a bit more exhausted, Illinois would have succeeded first try.

But for the first time since arriving in the Dark’s life, Illinois got a  _ “no” _ to something he wanted.

It was a surprise for everyone in the Manor.

For Dark denying Arthur was easy, but Damien’s blue soul adored Illinois more than even Dark or Celine did and the impulse to just give the boy whatever he wanted was immediate and very intense.

So Illinois and Kay just kept asking and Dark had to contend with all three of them periodically asking.

On the plus side Dark was getting a lot of practice with telling Illinois  _ “no”. _ On the downside they were almost relentless.

Then one day, after almost three months of being asked almost daily, Dark snapped, at his wits end. “Fine!”

Kay flinched and Dark felt bad. Arthur however had a huge smile.

“On one condition,” Dark amended, and summoned a countdown timer. “You three have to join on my terms, or you don’t join at all.”

“Come on,” Arthur complained.

“I am not done, you will listen to me, I’ve had enough of this,” Dark ordered. “My network is not a game. You all are not allowed to undermine me. When you join and I tell you to do something, you do it. No questions, no sass. You follow my orders.”

“Fine,” Arthur groaned.

“No,” Dark growled softly. “Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir,” Illinois smiled, clearly excited.

“I’ll allow the tone,” Dark chided.

Dark tapped the counter and every number on it swirled until it reached the number Dark wanted  _ 2 yrs, 5 months, 27 days. _ “The youngest I allow people to be in my network is fifteen. You all have to wait until Kay is 15, or you don’t join at all.”

“Two years?” The young Author balked.

“My network, my rules,” Dark reminded.

“Fine,” Arthur grumbled.

“We’ll do a trial run,” Dark smiled, almost chuckling. “Tomorrow I’ll find things for you to do at the warehouse.”

Illinois looked so excited that Dark’s blue soul was already thinking of keeping Illinois by his side the whole day.

The kids were so excited they couldn’t keep the fact they’d gotten Dark to cave to themselves. Much to Bim’s clear anger that he wasn’t included. But Dark reminded him that if he wanted to have his own show, he wouldn’t have time to be in his Network.

That downright silenced Bim’s argument for years.

When 6:00 in the morning rolled around the following day Dark woke the three of them up. Arthur complained but when Dark threatened to leave him behind he rolled out of bed to take a shower.

Illinois and Kay were easier to wake up. He made sure they had breakfast and made sure they changed into the nicest suits they had. Kay had a light tan suit that Dark had made sure the red tie had little squirrels on it. Illinois had a tweed suit. Arthur had a standard black suit. A suit he would  _ “lose” _ the jacket to in his only bout of rebellion while he worked for the network. His pinstripe shirt was still pristine.

Then Dark took them into his main office, and gave all three of them paperwork.

Because Dark wasn’t planning on making them his enforcers. He was going to make them so bored they were going to quit.

There was one small problem. It didn’t work.

Dark wasn’t cruel like probably should have been if all he wanted was for them to give up immediately. Kay was practically born to do paperwork, and Illinois only wanted to impress Dark.

Arthur flat out didn’t do the paperwork. He wrote along any usable white space. And when Dark took the paper away he started writing in his notebook. Making Arthur bored wasn’t a possibility while he had that notebook.

And Dark wasn’t nearly cruel enough to even think about taking Arthur’s one constant comfort away from him.

Objectively Dark would be a fool not to let Kay in. He didn’t like to let other people touch the paperwork that Dark had to personally do. The sheer incompetence he saw around him was enough of a deterrent on its own. But Kay was smart and the farthest thing from incompetent. And Dark already knew that Illinois was going to be in the network regardless of what Dark wanted.

But that meant that Dark couldn’t just exclude Arthur. He’d never hear the end of it.

In short, Dark was fucked!

Dark started slowly cranking up the workload, testing how much Illinois and Kaylor — or Philly and Curls as Dark’s network knew them — could take and what they couldn’t. The process would take months for them to find a rhythm. The three wouldn’t really find it until Kaylor’s fifteenth birthday and the two could join him fully.

Arthur was a different story. After two years of having to wrangle the young Author. On the day he could fully join, Dark called in one of his lieutenants, Lynel Bargs, who was looking at Arthur in trepidation.

“Schultz, this is Author,” Dark introduced. “He just joined our network, take him out on the town. Make sure nothing happens to him, he needs to be seventeen before he steps foot into the red light district. If anything happens to him, I’ll fire you.”

“R-Right,” Bargs agreed, a tone of alarm in his voice.

“I expect him back in about an hour, good luck,” Dark told him and promptly walked back into his office.

And so a career mobster was left alone with a teenager who looked like a coyote left alone with a one-legged rabbit.

Mostly because the mobster wasn’t an idiot, he looked just like “ _ Junior” _ which meant that this was another one of Dark’s kids.

Making him feel simultaneously overqualified and under qualified at the same time.

“Hey,” Author smiled, tittering a bit on the tips of his toes. “How many people have you killed?”

“The fuck even are you?” Bargs asked.

“An Author,” the Author tapped at his notebook.

This kid freaked the mobster out. He’d seen people die, killed a fair number of people. Tortured a couple snitches for Dark.

But he felt like a deer looking at a cougar cub. This thing wasn’t human, and he suddenly understood why that bastard cowboy always hated being with Junior. They weren’t human and Dark was just leaving him with this . . .  _ thing. _

“No one keeps a kill count,” Bargs told him. “It helps the feds find you.”

“That’s boring,” Author frowned.

“Let me show you a couple places where we have the new enforcers work,” Bargs told him and got into his car with something that he knew was a living time bomb.

All in all Bargs survived his hour and Dark took the Author back. Bargs knew one thing, he just couldn’t survive with that thing near him and as Dark kept placing the Author with him, he had to get rid of the kid without getting killed by Dark.

And another domino in a long line that would eventually create the Host was placed.


End file.
